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dtzav.bmp Hey, Dio, been keeping up with the summer season much? I know we’re both really in to Slayers Revolution, but I don’t think you’ve looked at much others.

dioav.jpg There is no Sekirei… there is no Sekirei, there is no Sekirei

dtzav.bmp That’s about what I expected. Well, I’ve only checked out two other series, but I’ve enjoyed what I’ve seen. Birdy the Mighty Decode is actually alot better than I was expecting, and World Destruction, well… it’s just silly. But in a fun way.

dioav.jpg Fun is good!

dtzav.bmp So, what do you want to check out first?

dioav.jpg Lets go with the absurd one. Do you realize HOW silly it is?

dtzav.bmp Of course, I’ve seen it. It’s a video game anime, and while it isn’t as stupid off the bat as Shining Tears X Wind and it isn’t as completely retarded as Dragonaut, it really feels like it’s begging to be Thumbnailed. The world is completely absurd, despite having actually likable main characters. I really like that the two leads are voiced by Maaya Sakamoto and Mamoru Miyano, because it means that Fujioka Haruhi has become a badass wielding a huge doublebladed sword and Suoh Tamaki a hapless idiot dragged along on a crazy adventure to destroy the world.

dioav.jpg So, we’re going to keep up with this one, right? Not happy we gave up on Emonaut, we missed some great gags.

dtzav.bmp Correct! We shall not fall behind on this! Ladies, Gentlemen and anthromorphs, I give you, episode one of our newest Thumbnail Theatre, World Confusion!

dioav.jpg I give it two eps before we blow it.

World Confusion: The World Destruction Thumbnail Theatre
Episode 1: An action girl, a cat boy, and an evil artifact walk into a bar, and the bear says…

Intro Card: So um, kay, the world’s covered with sand, and Beastmen rule over humans. This totally is not a rip off of Gurren Lagann’s premise, trust us.

Morte Behold, my awesome cloaked entrance! So dramatic. Ooooo, sandsea.

*Meanwhile, in a Bar*

Toppy There are two kinds of heroes. Those who go out and actually do stuff, and those who sit in bars making cryptic comments about types of heroes.

Bartender But where do the cuddly ones come into play?

Toppy Just give me another whiskey.

Bartender Sure thing, Teddy.

*Meanwhile, in a Restaurant*

Catear Kirie Oh look, a wanted poster for the World Destruction Committee that has apparently only one member. By the way, I’m a catboy.

Chef: I know, you won’t stop telling me. Just deliver the freaking food to all the weird animal people.

Catear Kirie Yessir! Definitely not a human! These cat ears prove it! Here’s your Sand Tuna that looks like a jellyfish, miss!

Morte Why is it covered in sand?

Catear Kirie We make our sauces from the finest sand. It covers the world, ya know.

Morte And didn’t I order Sand-Whale?

Catear Kirie Whoops, my mistake! Oh well, to err is catboy, as they say. Did I mention I’m a catboy?

Dogman Hey, don’t I have a part in this show?

Morte No, shut up and let me eat.

World Savior Committee NO ONE expects the bird mask inquisition!

Morte Dammit all! Can’t a wanted fugitive get a quiet bite to eat ANYWHERE?

Catear Kirie Holy crapola, that’s a huge fuckoff Bat’leth AND IT’S RIGHT AT MY THROAT!

World Savior Committee Wow, she drops her disguise quicker each time we bust in on her. She doesn’t even wait to be discovered anymore.

Morte Alright, listen up, I’m the World Destruction Committee! Let me go or I’ll kill this obvious catboy!

Kirie Noooooo! My clever disguise catears have fallen off!

Morte Or he could be a furry…

World Savior Committee A FURRY! Being a human is bad enough, but dressing up as one of us is just wrong! GET THEM!

*Actually fairly awesome opening theme plays*

Morte DYNAMIC EXIT THROUGH THE WALL!

Kirie Wait for me, scary girl with the huge sword who just threatened to kill me!

*Meanwhile, Back in the Bar*

Bartender Look, how many times do I have to goad you into actually being a Hero’s Guild Detective like you claim to be? The World Destruction Committee is running amok. Don’t you have cool badass heroism to respond to that?

Kyne No, help my sister! I’ve got money!

Toppy The kid makes a compelling argument, barkeep. One more for the road.

*Meanwhile, at a very Cat-ty Castle*

Nekoshi MEOOOOOOOOOOW!

Nekoshi Mooks Lord Nekoshi, stop acting so much like a Cat and listen to my report. Some World Destroying chick is causing a ruckus in the town.

Nekoshi HISSSSSSSSSSS! There can only be one solution… RANDOM SACRIFICE OF SMALL GIRLS!

Nekoshi Mooks Before your three o clock appointment for a buttscratch, sir, or after?

*Meanwhile, in a forest outside of town*

Kirie So… do you cause riots often?

Morte Don’t try to weasel your way out of explaining things! I’m the one with the unwieldy supersword! Now, explain the cat ears!

Kirie You can get alot of money pretending to be a beast person…

Morte EW EW EW TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

Kirie No, I mean, working at restaurants. They don’t allow humans to work, ya know. I’m willing to break common decency laws to get a few bucks.

Morte You’re NOT helping your case.

Kirie Well, anyway, time to exposit. You’re Morte, the single 17 year old member of the World Destruction Committee, right?

Morte Hey! Observe my unproportional reaction to my age! And it’s not clear if there are any other members of the committee, even to me.

Kirie Well, anyway, I’m Kirie. I mostly bumble my way through life. It’s not easy, but at least I’m somehow still alive. Sooooo, why do they call you the World Destruction Committee?

Morte No idea. But it sounds cool, so I run with it. Look over there!

Linam PLEASE DON’T KILL ME I’M JUST A LITTLE GIRL!

Kirie Don’t worry. We’re not suspicious at all. Ignore my frightened demeanor and her big implement of death.

Linam Hey, have you seen my brother? He’s a dopey kid who stole money from my piggy bank and said something about finding a teddy bear.

Elder Hi, I’m a jerk. Linam, don’t talk to strangers.Linam But they said they’re not suspicious.

Morte That’s right! We’re humans, just like you.

Kirie Seriously, not suspicious at all!

Elder How nice for you. How about we treat you to some food? (Mwahahaha.)

*Later, in the village*

Kirie Yum, sand!

Morte Not hungry.

Kirie All the more sand for me, then!

Morte What the hell do we drink, anyways?

Kirie So, I’ve nowhere to go. But I like this place, they have good sand. Whatcha gonna do tomorrow?

Morte Try to destroy the world.

Kirie Wait, I thought you said you didn’t know why they called you the World Destruction Committee.

Morte Well, yes. I mean, how can I be a committee?

*Laughtrack*

Kirie A fair point. But how can you destroy the world?

Morte I’ll ask this magic eight ball.

Magic Eight Ball All signs point to no.

Kirie Neat, can I see?

Evil Magic Eight Ball All signs point to R’yleh.

Kirie Your Magic Eight Ball is full of tentacles and eyeballs.

Morte Don’t touch that.

Evil Magic Eight Ball Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.

Morte It does that sometimes. Now, I have to be angsty. Dramatically telling you to leave and save your- oh, you’re asleep.

Kirie Happy Snore!

Morte Pillock.

*Meanwhile, in the Elder’s house*

Elder Now we don’t have to sacrifice anyone else in the village. We’ll hand over that huge intimidating woman. No one will miss her.

Townsfolk: Elder, are you nuts?! That weapon’s half as big as she is!

Elder But so long as she at the food we drugged, she’s harmless.

Linam Elder, you’re a big meanie!

Elder Would YOU prefer being eaten by the cat’s god, little girl?

Linam Sniffle…

Lemon Moons LeMOOOOOOOOOOON~!

*And now, for your eyecatch pleasure, random little girl and insane catthing*

*Later that night*

Nekoshi Alright, where’s the virgin sacrifice, old man?

Elder One virgin, coming right up!

*In the hut*

Townsfolk 1: Aw crap, the girl got away and left a poorly made mannequin to fool us!

Kirie Cheerfully snoozing!

Townsfolk 2: Well, at least there’s this idiot. No idea if he’s the right kind of virgin, but I don’t know how to check. Help me wrap him up.

Kirie Blissfully unaware my bad day is getting worse!

*On the Sandsea*

Toppy My Sandboat is AWESOME!

*In the forest again*

Morte Hold it RIGHT THERE oh it’s just you, little girl. Thanks for the grub. Remember, sneaking off in the middle of the night and leaving behind a tied decoy is not suspicious at all.

Linam Oh no! If you’re here, that means your friend is gonna be sacrificed instead!

Morte I could continue being heartless… but no, that doesn’t really fit me. Lead the way.

*At the sacrificial Pit*

Nekoshi Mooks Cat! We’re kitty cats! And we dance dance dance, and we dance dance dance!

Nekoshi I like turkey, I like liver, Meow mix, meow mix, please deliver!

Nekoshi Mooks Oooga chaka oooga chaka oooga chaka! I CAN’T STOP THIS FEEEEEEEEEELING! DEEP INSIDE OF MEEEEEEEEEEEE~!

Nekoshi Never gonna GIVE YOU UP, never gonna LET YOU DOWN, never gonna RUN AROUND and DESERT YOU!

Monster Arm.jpg ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I’M UP! JUST SHUT UP ALREADY! Ooooo, sacrificial virgin. My favorite.

Kirie with Boobs Yawn… what a nap… huh. Those are new.

Monster Arm.jpg FEED ME, SEYMOUR!

Kirie with Boobs HOLY CRAP! IT’S A PIRANHA PLANT! AND IT’S EATEN THE ANIMATION BUDGET!

Morte GOTCHA!

Nekoshi OH GOD, NOT THE SCRUFF OF MY NECK!

Morte Now then, have you seen a hapless idiot around here?

Kirie with Boobs Oh-balls-oh-balls-oh-balls-oh-balls-

Morte That answers that. Down you go.

Nekoshi AHHHHHHH! Wait, is that sacrifice a guy-

Monster Arm.jpg A cat is fine too! *NOM*

Kirie with Boobs Help! It’s eating him! And then it’s going to eat me! Oh my gooooooooooooooooooooood!

Morte I’m more badass than Mario! Watch me jump effortlessly and harmlessly on the Piranha Plant’s head!

Kirie with Boobs My heroine!

Morte I’ve come to kick ass and return the animation budget. But I see we’re all out of budget.

World Savior Committee WE’RE OMNIPRESENT!

Morte DAMMIT ALL! First I can’t eat, then I can’t save someone heroically! How’d they even find us, anyway?

Kirie with Boobs You don’t exactly do incognito well. Mind helping me out of this cloak? My arms are sorta tied.

Morte Not now, stupid. They’ve stopped firing their guns. Time to fight.

Toppy I’M A BEAR! *Badass rip tear through World Savior Committee*

Morte Watch me kick your asses one at a time! Please line up for your complimentary beatings!

World Savior Committee Shouldn’t we, you know, attack all at once? There’s like 15 of us standing around doing nothing.

Morte NO. MOOKS DON’T USE TACTICS.

World Savior Committee But we DO use hostages!

Kirie with Boobs Ummm… it happened again…

Morte DEAR GOD are you ever useless.

Monster HELLO!

Morte Wait, those Piranha plants are just arms of a huge Octorok? I think Nintendo’s gonna sue.

Kirie with Boobs WHY DOES EVERYTHING WANT ME DEAD.

Toppy HERE I COME, TO SAVE THE DAY! *Stabs big monster with tiny knife*

Monster THAT TICKLES!

Toppy How’s that, fair maiden? Pretty Gar for a bear dontcha think?

Kirie Oh look, bread. So that’s how I had boobs.

Toppy Wait, what the?

World Savior Committee Even beastmen have joined the World Destruction Committee, despite that making no sense! FIRE!

Toppy Where did my luck just go?

Morte HOLD IT! I have a World Destroying MacGuffin and I’m not afraid to use it! Fear the Magic Eight Ball of DOOM!

Magic Eight Ball Ask again later.

Morte DAMN YOU MAGIC EIGHT BALL OF DOOM.

World Savior Committee Quick, before she asks another question!

Kirie Maybe I should try asking something.

Evil Magic Eight Ball YOU’VE GOT THE TOUCH! YOU’VE GOT THE POWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *glows, creates an earthquake*

Kirie I don’t think destroying the world is what they meant with “Light our darkest hour,” Magic Eight Ball!

Morte Let’s get out of here! Watch me sand surf on my sword!

MonsterNekoshi MooksWorld Savior Committee WE ARE SQUASHED.

*A little later*

Kirie Soooo, if we know exactly how to use this thing, it can destroy the world. Neato.

Morte Right. But it shouldn’t glow all the time. So hand it over.

Evil Magic Eight Ball I’M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD! *laughtrack* SO I CAN DESTROY IT! *laughtrack*

Morte It also really shouldn’t do that. *Takes*

Magic Eight Ball Outlook positive.

Kirie I think it likes me!

Kyne Thank you so much for saving my sister!

Linam Thank you, people who want to destroy everything and everyone we’ve ever known!

Morte That’s cute kids. Kirie? We’re leaving before the waterworks come.

Kirie But that’s not your sandboat!

Toppy JE SUIS UN BEAR! *kicks Kirie* IT’S MY BOAT!

Morte And we’re taking it. Besides, you’ve been recruited to our little world annihilation scheme by the powers that be. Nice to meetcha.

Toppy DAMMIT! Leave me to narrate… so there’s apparently a third kind of hero as well… the kind that the world hates. Like Exalted.

*That about wraps up the first episode. Join us next time for more WORLD CONFUSION!*